I am Dabbling in Hypocrisy

I woke up, what seemed like a never-ending slumber, swimming in the pool of the unconscious, guided by my mind towards a tunnel of light. Nothing made sense, and I felt like an alien species reaching out on an alien planet where no one made sense, I guess I didn’t either. I vowed to myself to never speak a word until I can comprehend everything that lives and breathes around me.

I was staring down a window of an abyss where life always moved in the fast lane, seasons changed without anyone caring enough to stop by and notice. The rain was incessant and the open window made sure I felt the coldness of the raindrops. It brought me back to reality. It wasn’t pleasant. I drifted again and vowed never to be part of that crowd who let seasons pass by unnoticed.

I am chasing a train leaving its track. It is the one that takes me home exactly at the time I need to be. It is part of me. It is what connects me to someone and something that I love. In the rush, I yell without comprehension; I pass a fleeting look of disapproval to the setting sun. While I am seated on the moving train, the shine of the setting sun pierces the skin on my face. I flinch my annoyance, a gentle arrogance that values sleep over the sun’s passing beauty.

I wake up from what seemed like an eternity but was a short commuter’s nap. I looked at my reflection, a tinted reflection in the windowpane. The darkness of the night reflected the darkness within me. Something hit me, right where the soul rests. Trying to make sense of the surroundings, I realized I had missed my stop and lost track of myself. The reflection in the glass pane looked like me but was a hypocritical shadow of a man who was everything he had vowed not to be.

My metamorphosis, awaken by a harsh realization of my hypocrisy towards myself.